Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Bachelorette Shower - from Grumblings... By the Author of Paula Takes a Risk - Available March 2012

Bachelorette Shower

“The gift is in the giving.”  That’s what they say.  True-giving selflessness happens when a person does not expect anything in return for his or her actions. Sure. Okay, whatever you say.  But, after years of attending countless bridal and baby showers and purchasing one gift after another, I’ve become fed up.  How about some gift reciprocation?  Do I have to have an engagement ring or a fetus in order to receive a congratulatory gift?  Is this fair? Just because I don’t have a husband-pending doesn’t mean I don’t need mixing bowls. If you cut me, do I not bleed?  If I’m unmarried, do I not need cutlery?

I’ve lost count of the amount of times I have schlepped myself to the Pottery Barn or to a department store, in the name of friendship, to be faced with the saleswoman who is in possession of a gift registry list.  Or worse, spending thirty minutes trying to call up the list on the customer computer system that is “Out of Order.”  Not to mention the frustration of trying to decipher the meaning of M #1322 chg gls 12 or Horizon tstr bgl 1. It’s amazing to me that no matter how soon I get to the store following the wedding announcement, with the exception of the designer dishtowels and an oven-mitt-apron combination, none of the ‘affordable’ gifts on the registry list are left to purchase.

The idea of a bridal shower is fine.   But why should it be designated for only those people who have a wedding date set?  I ask you, who needs crystal stemware, dinnerware and serving pieces more than the single gal?  How am I supposed to impress a husband candidate with the chipped stoneware dishes, glassware from the gas station and my mother’s hand-me-down silverware?

Frankly, I am in need of entertainment equipment. And I think that it’s high time that there is a venue for the single woman to recoup some of her gift giving investment and collect some badly needed items.

I propose the idea of a Bachlorette Shower, a celebration of the unmarried status.  Throw a party for the woman who is single, confident and proud.  It’s a shin-dig for the woman who smiles and politely listens, without bursting into flames as her well meaning friends run down the annoying, yet benign, list of comments.

“When are you going to stop running around and settle down?”

“Poor thing.  You must be lonely.” 

“Don’t you want to get married?”

“Maybe I know someone for you.”

The agenda for the Bachelorette Shower would include the opening of congratulatory gifts which include the much needed, impressive serving pieces and crystal, and the dating essentials which include lingerie, date-outfits and gift certificates for spa treatments. In place of usual shower activities and games that include building a gift-bow bouquet and guessing a baby’s birth weight, the Bachelorette Shower would have drinking games, lively discussions about sex and a friendly competition about who has had the worst date.

It’s high time we celebrate the Bachelorette.  After spending thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours honoring those who have had life changing events, it’s time for the single woman to recoup some of her effort in the form of gifts, and well wishes from those who have benefited in the past.

No comments:

Post a Comment