tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53195570666324689912024-02-07T10:22:25.827-08:00Randi M.Sherman - Author & Bon VivantOngoing thoughts, observations, announcements and stories from Randi M Sherman, the author of PAULA TAKES A RISK and other upcoming surprisesAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.comBlogger87125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-8705348647996786772013-06-27T08:45:00.001-07:002013-06-27T08:45:56.842-07:00What do the Edsel, lawn darts, bacon flavored chewing gum and DOMA have in common?They were all ridiculous.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-59756402429284984932013-06-27T08:29:00.001-07:002013-06-27T08:33:12.718-07:00Green Acres....Admittedly, I am the Eva Gabor, the Lisa Douglas of the gardening set. (No, I don't wear feather boas to mow the lawn.) We finally have some land to grow some vegetables and I think I may have gone a little overboard. Is 25 too many tomato plants? For 2 people? I cant even count the amount of cucumber and zucchini plants - mainly because I'm not sure which ones are which. But I don't care.<br />
<br />
Enthusiastic? Yes I am. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-13459144132661172622013-06-26T16:46:00.003-07:002013-06-26T16:48:56.004-07:00Ive been gone - but I have a great reason...Its been a while - yup.<br />
In addition to exciting personal changes - I have also just completed a new novel. So stay tuned for new info about (working title) <strong><em>Caroline Starts Over</em></strong>.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-15056986887282276712012-07-24T09:01:00.001-07:002012-07-24T09:02:33.237-07:00Today's lessonThis is what I have learned:<br />
It doesn't matter if you exercise 3-4 times a week while you are in your twenty and thirties. It doesnt matter if you run miles each day or lift weights for strengthening. When it comes down to it - Menopause <em>will</em> catch up with you and when she does, she will beat the ever livin' crap out of you rendering you unrecognizable. <br />
<br />
Check out the blog tour for Paula Takes A Risk<br />
<a href="http://www.clpblogtours.com/2012/06/paula-takes-risk-by-randi-m-sherman.html">http://www.clpblogtours.com/2012/06/paula-takes-risk-by-randi-m-sherman.html</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-63185728593457025982012-07-13T08:31:00.000-07:002012-07-13T08:31:30.661-07:00Here goes nothin' - the blog tour begins next weekThe blog tour for Paula Takes A Risk- begins next week - I have to admit, Im not sure what to expect. It is a bit of an unknown. Sure I think my writing is clever - but...<br />
Follow the tour - Lets find out together.<br />
<a href="http://www.clpblogtours.com/"><span style="color: black;">http://www.clpblogtours.com/</span></a><br />
<a href="http://chicklitplus.com/future-tour-paula-takes-risk-randi-sherman/"><span style="color: black;">http://chicklitplus.com/future-tour-paula-takes-risk-randi-sherman/</span></a><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">July 16- The East Village- Review</div>July 16- Michelle’s Book Nook – Review<br />
July 17- The Book Bag- Review<br />
July 20- Chick Lit Plus – Review<br />
July 21- Jersey Girl Book Reviews- Review, Guest Post & Excerpt<br />
July 22- Samantha March – Q&A & Excerpt<br />
July 25- Amie Louellen- Review & Guest Post<br />
July 26- Storm Goddess Book Reviews- Review & Excerpt<br />
July 27- Change the Word- Review<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal"> <div class="MsoNormal">July 28- Change the Word- Guest Post</div><div class="MsoNormal">July 29- Mrs. Mommy Booknerd’s Book Reviews- Guest Post</div><div class="MsoNormal">July 30 - Mrs. Mommy Booknerd’s Book Reviews – Review & Q&A</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal">Thank you to Samatha March of CLP ChiclitPlus for coordinating the tour.</div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-13429778187677435152012-07-03T13:41:00.000-07:002012-07-03T13:41:08.392-07:00Focus on Women Magaine - articleCheck out the latest article about Paula Takes A Risk <br />
<a href="http://www.focusonwomenmagazine.net/pdf/June-july-2012.pdf">http://www.focusonwomenmagazine.net/pdf/June-july-2012.pdf</a><br />
<br />
Also - look for the upcoming blog tour in JulyAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-83987217116285103442012-06-13T12:49:00.002-07:002012-06-13T12:49:38.373-07:00Blog Tour Dates for Paula Takes A RiskCheck out the upcoming Blog Tour for <em>Paula Takes a Risk</em> by Randi M Sherman<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.clpblogtours.com/">http://www.clpblogtours.com/</a><br />
<a href="http://chicklitplus.com/future-tour-paula-takes-risk-randi-sherman/">http://chicklitplus.com/future-tour-paula-takes-risk-randi-sherman/</a><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
July 16- The East Village- Review</div>
July 16- Michelle’s Book Nook – Review<br />
July 17- The Book Bag- Review<br />
July 20- Chick Lit Plus – Review<br />
July 21- Jersey Girl Book Reviews- Review, Guest Post & Excerpt<br />
July 22- Samantha March – Q&A & Excerpt<br />
July 25- Amie Louellen- Review & Guest Post<br />
July 26- Storm Goddess Book Reviews- Review & Excerpt<br />
July 27- Change the Word- Review<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
July 28- Change the Word- Guest Post</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
July 29- Mrs. Mommy Booknerd’s Book Reviews- Guest Post</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
July 30 - Mrs. Mommy Booknerd’s Book Reviews – Review & Q&A</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank you to Samatha March of CLP ChiclitPlus for coordinating the tour.</div>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-73386013945423687582012-06-07T12:44:00.000-07:002012-06-07T12:44:32.369-07:00EbookmallEBookMall interview Randi Sherman and Paula Takes A Risk<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.ebookmall.com/author/randi-m-sherman">http://www.ebookmall.com/author/randi-m-sherman</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-80401826096095123432012-06-07T12:38:00.000-07:002012-06-07T12:38:13.182-07:00Epoch Times Review*The Epoch Times. *They posted a link reviewing <em>Paula Takes A Ri</em>sk in their latest issue. <br />
The review is in Chinese but my publicist did tell me the reviewer recommended the book.<br />
Here is the link:<br />
<a href="http://e-paper.epochtimes.com/?Qwd=./Houston/20120601_875E&Qif=djyhou_875E_20120601_17.jpg&Qiv=thumbs&Qis=FS&Qtmp=popup">http://e-paper.epochtimes.com/?Qwd=./Houston/20120601_875E&Qif=djyhou_875E_20120601_17.jpg&Qiv=thumbs&Qis=FS&Qtmp=popup</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-81130000238020210212012-05-13T20:52:00.003-07:002012-05-13T20:52:48.199-07:00I have blog tour starting in July - stay tuned for upcoming details.<br />
I also appreciate all of the efforts by Smith Publicity for setting up my interview with KPFA tonight. I enjoyed it. Looking forward to the next one.<br />
Of course - who doesnt like talking about themselves?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-70058031952284786452012-05-13T20:50:00.000-07:002012-05-13T20:50:01.172-07:00Interview was funI just finished up my interview with Veronica Faisant of KPFA about Paula Takes A Risk. It was fun. I was a little nervous - and I think a good effort. Veronica clearly liked the book - very much appreciated.<br />
Looking forward what comes next....Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-34380192189314124902012-05-13T16:21:00.005-07:002012-05-13T17:28:02.613-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg64OuOFAehFtBpiIRLgPswPwgBgHMbnz17w1F35gRCPwEq8A0xMY6dQN0jMslsLIiqyXmthE2_Z7i0VyX9WoM2sh4p6LVHQAQJCHeo2h7vfkUDoSv612HdGrRCheVOpD68TSUlyj4YT_o/s1600/img_8844-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg64OuOFAehFtBpiIRLgPswPwgBgHMbnz17w1F35gRCPwEq8A0xMY6dQN0jMslsLIiqyXmthE2_Z7i0VyX9WoM2sh4p6LVHQAQJCHeo2h7vfkUDoSv612HdGrRCheVOpD68TSUlyj4YT_o/s320/img_8844-2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Listen in tonight to "The Week Starts Here" with Veronica Faisant<br />
KPFA 94.1<br />
May 13, 2012 @ 7:30 pm<br />
Taking a risk and following a dream.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-8990045076892056472012-05-11T16:34:00.000-07:002012-05-11T16:34:46.452-07:00Newsblaze articleCatch the article about <em>Paula Takes A Risk</em> in Newblaze<br />
<a href="http://newsblaze.com/story/20120508172024zzzz.nb/topstory.html">http://newsblaze.com/story/20120508172024zzzz.nb/topstory.html</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-18825925045768603562012-05-09T08:19:00.000-07:002012-05-09T08:19:40.069-07:00Preparing for an radio interviewYou hear all of the suggestions: make a list of bullet points, think up pithy qucik stories. memorize - no wait dont memorize, be serious, be yourself, no funny is best - no... the list goes on and on. I am scheduled for my first radio interview on Sunday.<br />
Its funny that 'Im a little.... well, a little more that a little nervous - as I performed stand up and improv - but I am. Hopefully - the old skills will kick in.<br />
My focus - is to enjoy myself, share what I know - and let the interviewer ask me questions that I will answer, sprinkled with humor.<br />
Listen - and let me know how I do<br />
<em>The Week Starts Here</em> <br />
Sunday, May 13<br />
Time: 7:30 pm<br />
Station: KPFA<br />
Host: Veronica Faisant<br />
Website: <a href="http://www.kpfa.org/home">http://www.kpfa.org/home</a> <br />
Topic: Taking a risk and following a dream.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-89246848758479600972012-05-08T15:19:00.000-07:002012-05-08T15:19:24.279-07:00The Week Starts Here - interviewHello all.<br />
Please tune in and listen to an interview with Veronica Faisant from KPFA from Berkley, CA and me <br />
Veronica's show: <em>The Week Starts Here</em> <br />
When: Sunday night (May 13) at 7:30 pm.<br />
Station: KPFA 94.1 FM<br />
Website: <a href="http://www.kpfa.org/home">http://www.kpfa.org/home</a> <br />
Topic: Taking a risk and following a dream<br />
<br />
This should be fun - its my first interview regarding <em>Paula Takes A Risk</em>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-48171772592510250882012-04-11T08:11:00.000-07:002012-04-11T08:11:19.727-07:00Dream dreamsHappy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true. - Leon SuenesAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-73100325461052008412012-04-04T11:24:00.001-07:002012-04-04T11:26:13.617-07:00Recent interview with eBookmall<h1 style="text-align: left;">Interview with Randi M. Sherman<br />
<span style="font-size: 10px; font-weight: normal;"><em><strong></strong></em></span></h1><em><strong>How much do you have in common with <a href="http://www.ebookmall.com/ebook/paula-takes-a-risk/friesenpress">Paula</a>?</strong></em><br />
<br />
Although Paula is a bit more trusting that I was, she shares traits with a younger version of me, both resigned to a prescribed life until we learned we could do or be anything we wanted. It just takes bravery with a little naivete sprinkled on top. I am taller than Paula.<br />
<br />
<em><strong>When you were little did you ever imagine being an author when you grew up?</strong></em><br />
<br />
Never. I dreamed of being a famous actress or maybe a cowgirl, or a ballerina or a nurse, but never an author. Being a writer seemed to be too much like having homework ALL of the time.<br />
<br />
<strong><em>Would you go back to being a stand-up comedian if you knew you could make a lot of money doing it?</em></strong><br />
<br />
Yes, but only if I could change my name to Ellen DeGeneres. Making a lot of money and being good at your job are two completely different things – just look at congress.<br />
Although going back to stand-up comedy is not currently on my to-do list, I will never say never. And, given the circumstances I’d probably do anything if I could make a lot of money doing it. Please don’t tell my mother.<br />
<br />
<em><strong>Name a book that you'd be embarrassed to be seen reading.</strong></em><br />
<br />
I’d probably be embarrassed if I was standing on a street corner somewhere, looking at street signs and referring to a tour book for another city.<br />
<br />
<em><strong>Do you ever write while intoxicated?</strong></em><br />
<br />
I have poured myself a glass of wine at the end of the day but truthfully, I simply lose interest in writing at that point. I’d chose crackers and cheese with my cocktail over spellcheck any day.<br />
<br />
<em><strong>Did you ever read a book and then wish you had all that time back?</strong></em><br />
<br />
Not really – If I don’t like a book, I put it down. Life is too short to be bored on purpose.<br />
<br />
<em><strong>What was the book that most influenced your life and why?</strong></em><br />
<br />
Surprisingly enough the book was <em>Real Moments</em> by Barbara De Angelis. I guess I read it more than twenty years ago. The idea of living for the moment and not worrying about the past or what may or may not happen, simply allows us to enjoy things for what they are.<br />
<br />
<em><strong>What was the biggest challenge you had to overcome when writing <a href="http://www.ebookmall.com/ebook/paula-takes-a-risk/friesenpress">Paula Takes a Risk</a>?</strong></em><br />
<br />
The biggest challenge was taking that final step to publish and release Paula Takes A Risk. I love all of my characters, and releasing them into the world, making them vulnerable to criticism was one hardest and possibly the bravest things I have ever done. When I sent them off, I wanted to tell them to hold hands as they crossed the street.<br />
<br />
<em><strong>Are you working on any new books now?</strong></em><br />
<br />
I am, I am about 80% done with a new humor novel – it has a fabulous twist. I am so excited about it. The publisher will have to be very daring.<br />
<br />
I also have other outlines waiting in the wings.<br />
<br />
<em><strong>If you could be any character in fiction, who would you be?</strong></em><br />
<br />
Wonder Woman, she was smart, beautiful, had an invisible airplane and she looked good wearing boots with a bathing suit.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-15802482400905513182012-03-17T08:24:00.001-07:002012-03-17T08:28:29.708-07:00"And Guest" Two dreaded words<div class="MsoBodyText2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">The most terrifying two-word combination that a single woman can read is “and Guest” written in calligraphy on the front of an oversized, ecru-colored envelope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even the most self-assured woman is stopped dead in her tracks when she realizes that she is expected to bring a date to a social function and she can’t think of anyone to take with her.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I recently received one of those envelopes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My friend Sharon was getting married. My first thought was, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Oh my God. Who am I going to invite as my guest? I can’t show up alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“and Guest” implies that they are expecting me to bring a date.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An escort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A dance partner.<o:p></o:p></i></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went through a mental checklist of all of the men I know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s see now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What about Henry? No, he’s married.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>John? No, he’s seeing someone else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Robert? No, his behavior embarrasses me when we’re out in public.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s Carl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, I unceremoniously dumped him and humiliated him in front of his friends and co-workers<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Humm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wonder if he’s still holding a grudge?<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I searched for my address book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I frantically flipped through the pages trying to remember which men I hadn’t referred to as “The Asshole of the Year” to my friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Looking at the names, I wished that I had returned some of those telephone messages from phone calls that I had avoided.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Messages that were left on my answer machine by men while I stood there listening their voices over the speaker as they poured out their hearts onto a twenty-second tape.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I considered how my past behavior resulted in my current predicament, I reprimanded myself, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I have to change my ways</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tomorrow.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I began to panic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suppose that I could respond and tell Sharon that I would not be able to go to her wedding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, that wouldn’t work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would have to come up with an excuse, a lie, and then I would have to remember it for the rest of my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I would have to be on my toes at all times and be prepared to convincingly discuss my excuse, in great detail, every time Sharon reminisced about her wedding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maintaining a lie for several years is just too much pressure for me to endure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lying was not an option.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Wait just one minute! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sharon knows perfectly well that I’m not dating anyone right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is she trying to punish me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is she trying to humiliate me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How could she be so cold?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I became indignant, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">That’s it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not going and that will show her!</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those thoughts faded when reality stepped in and I remembered that the world doesn’t revolve around me and that Sharon’s wedding ceremony and reception were not maliciously planned with the express purpose of embarrassing me.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I thought about being honest and logical.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps I could call Sharon and tell her that I didn’t have a date to bring and ask her if she had invited any single men who also need a date.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, then I would look pathetic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pathetic and desperate, a sad combination.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I looked at the invitation again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The date of the wedding was six weeks away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to come up with a plan of action.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Humm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could go out and actively pursue men.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s see.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I met a man this weekend, we could have three, four, possibly five dates before Sharon’s wedding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We would appear comfortable together and after six weeks there would be a good possibility of some hand-holding and sweet glances.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">But there was the very real possibility that I would not meet a potential “and Guest” right away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I calculated, if I met someone two or three weeks from now, we might only be able to get in a few dates before the wedding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This could create a familiarity and comfort issue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if I don’t know him well enough to determine what his idea of formal wear is?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It could be an expensive suit or a T-shirt with a tuxedo stenciled on the front.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I considered going to a popular restaurant in my neighborhood and making the announcement that I had been invited to a wedding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would explain that I had been asked to bring a date and that I would be interviewing applicants from the hours of nine to eleven at the end of the bar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Along with proof of employment and a valid driver’s license, a list of three references must be provided.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Transients and drunks need not apply.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">The weeks flew by and before I knew it Sharon’s wedding day had come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had not arranged for an “and Guest.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was going to the wedding alone, unescorted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Things could be worse,</i> I thought<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sharon could have asked me to be a bridesmaid.</i></div><div class="MsoBodyText2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoBodyText2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><o:p>(From The Grumbling of a Chronically Single Woman, By Randi Sherman author of PAULA TAKES A RISK)</o:p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-30806381448844352602012-03-14T10:57:00.002-07:002012-03-14T11:06:25.759-07:00Sunny promotionNever in my lifetime has anyone ever said:"Hey, Randi you should go into sales." <br />
Some people are naturals. Me? Not so much. <br />
Yup, I'm personable, funny, hilarious at times. Some people have called me smart and even charming (they have requested that I keep their anonimity, to protect them against backlash) - But a "schmoozing wheeler dealer?" Nope.<br />
<br />
So here I am with the book PAULA TAKES A RISK ready to go - and I'm working to come up with some promotional ideas, You know, get my name out there. Being a relative unknown - scheduling appearances and events focused on the astounding works of Randi Sherman are a little slow in the making.<br />
<br />
So I'm thinking - How about a give away? I'll go out to the super popular SF park, set up a table, maybe have some treats, start up some conversations and trade a book for an email address and a promise to tweet all of thier friends .<br />
<br />
That's the plan. I can get my name out locally- during the next sunny weekend day in San Francisco.<br />
"Great!" You're thinking, "It's never sunny in San Francisco. That's a safe and inexpensive plan."<br />
<br />
For those of you who are familiar with Mark Twain and his supposed quote: "The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco," you probably don't know that we have some of the most beautiful and mild days here. <br />
<br />
Okay. The plan is set. I have ordered a few boxes of books. I've got some T-shirts and I'll be ready to go...as soon as this rain lets up.<br />
<br />
If you have additional promotion ideas - drop me a line.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-54623681020405004262012-03-12T12:05:00.000-07:002012-03-12T12:05:10.909-07:00A little help hereSo - I have made it through the labyrinth of self-publishing, writing, editing, reediting, reediting, design, waiting, pricing, ISBN codes, identifying demographics and target audiences - all of it. I have the book in hand. I have followed instruction and the rules. I have contacted hundreds of<br />
editors, reviewers, producer, executives of radio & TV sent Press Releases, About the Author docs, invited them to call me - then - crickets - tumbleweeds blowing across the plains - and now, humbly I must admit two things (1) I have no clout whatsoever and (2) I need help with promoting and distribution. Sure I thought I could do it all ... alas... maybe not and now... I am seeking the help of a professional.<br />
<br />
Sure - I know I need to be patient - and I am - just seeking a little help<br />
Agents, publishers, promoters - where are you?<br />
Contact me<br />
RAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-85291407488889868332012-03-08T06:59:00.000-08:002012-03-08T06:59:13.598-08:00How old do I look?The other day - I received a note from an old friend who found me on facebook. <br />
She wrote "I cant believe it. You look exactly the same as you did in high school."<br />
Then I thought - "Oh my god! I looked like I was 50 years old when I was in High School"Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-53170999771071565872012-03-05T10:26:00.000-08:002012-03-05T10:26:18.348-08:00enjoy chapters<em>Paula Takes a Risk</em> is finally available - read about it and the author. <br />
Hey - order a copy<br />
<br />
Also -Enjoy chapters form The Grumblings of a Chronically Single WomanAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-72688359652853283672012-03-05T10:22:00.000-08:002012-03-05T10:22:37.128-08:00Poisoned<h2 align="center" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"> </h2><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Paul, I thought, was a dream come true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything I had ever hoped for, seemed to be embodied in him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My heart soared every time I thought of him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Zing!<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Paul invited me to his beach house for dinner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was going to cook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I arrived, fresh cut flowers were on the table, the wine was breathing and mood music filled the air.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was impressed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The meal was incredible. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Cabernet tasted as if the grapes were grown for the soul purpose of creating a wine that would compliment our dinner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was being wooed and I liked it.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">As we sat there gazing into each other’s eyes, everything seemed so right until I began to ramble.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t help myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mind raced as I tried to think of clever anecdotes about myself to impress Paul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, I blathered on with inappropriate and self-deprecating stories about my childhood pudginess and thick glasses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Besides, I was trying to picture him naked and was having trouble concentrating.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I was dying for him to touch me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I executed a combination hand-half-way-across-the-table with an interested lean.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This particular maneuver is extremely difficult to do successfully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Precise angling, attitude, and timing are essential.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You must lean your upper body inward, at just the right angle (approximately forty-five degrees), while maintaining hand placement and eye contact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The weight is shifted laterally onto one buttock.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is crucial that the correct buttock is selected. Optimum head and face placement to receive a kiss is the goal. For maximum benefit, lower the eyelids, part the lips slightly and execute a single heavy inhale-exhale combination.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Finally, Paul took my hand, drew me close and kissed me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I nearly fell off of the chair and under the table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suddenly felt flush.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My palms got clammy, my heart was leaping and my stomach was churning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wait<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">. </i>I began to wonder.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> Was this supposed to be happening?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was he the one?</i><o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Paul suggested that we go for a walk along the beach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As we removed our shoes and placed them on the porch, I began to fantasize about the movie, “From Here to Eternity.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Paul would be Burt Lancaster, I would be Deborah Kerr and the gentle waves would roll over our entwined bodies as we kissed in the surf.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">We walked hand-in-hand as the surf rushed over our feet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything seemed so perfect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fresh air snapped me back into reality and I realized that my stomach was feeling unusually queasy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was it the romance?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was the dinner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nausea began to overtake me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt dizzy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started to cramp and broke into a sweat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Oh no.</i> I tried to think it away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The gurgling from my stomach and the hot flashes were eventually overtaken by the crashing waves of nausea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I fell to my knees and proceeded to pollute the ocean in my own special way.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>When I came to, I realized that I was sprawled out and the surf was lapping up my, now ruined, suede dress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was soaking wet and covered with sand, seaweed and various non-biodegradable items.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lifted my head and searched for Paul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was sitting on a sand dune about thirty feet away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he saw me moving, he stood up and walked toward me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was hoping for compassion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, he was disgusted and angry. <o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent2" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In a sarcastic tone he asked, “Now, was that necessary? You certainly know how to ruin an evening. I suppose you’re too sick to have sex tonight.”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What?</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What a Jackass!</i><o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Without help from Paul, the king of concern, I pulled myself to my feet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stumbled down the beach in an effort to catch up with Paul, who kept pace about ten feet ahead of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt my body becoming chaffed by the wet suede and sand. <o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">When we arrived at his house, Paul handed me my shoes and told me to wait outside while he got my purse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He didn’t want me to “drip” on his carpeting.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">After receiving my purse, I walked, alone, to my car, as Paul went inside the house, dead-bolted the door and turned out the porch light. He acted as if I had maliciously and intentionally become violently ill in an effort to destroy his sex quota.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, at that moment, I wished that I had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt another wave of nausea come over me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I desperately looked around for a place to heave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I spotted it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With my hand covering my nose and mouth, I made a mad dash for the porch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I took careful aim and then vomited in Paul’s shoes. <o:p></o:p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-89666345212098187092012-02-28T07:53:00.000-08:002012-02-28T07:53:24.935-08:00The Cocktail Party - by Randi Sherman<div style="text-align: center;"> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Cocktail Party<o:p></o:p></b></div><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">When I arrived at my friend’s holiday cocktail party, I looked around the room and realized that other than the hostess, Margaret, there was not a recognizable face in the crowd.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I glanced around to take stock of fashion sense in the room and then at the mirror to check my outfit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realized that once again, I had made the incorrect outfit selection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It doesn’t matter how much planning I do, I have an inexplicable talent of choosing the most inappropriate apparel for any occasion.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">If I were asked to select a word that best describes my appearance, I would say “pleasant.” Although, my looks do not stimulate one’s gag reflexes, I have not been presented any awards for my outstanding beauty and poise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is inevitable, there is always at least one woman at each party who has the ability to turn the heads of all of the men and generate instant jealousy from all of the women in the room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is tall and proud and magnetic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She smolders.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would describe myself as the semi-attractive woman who is standing just behind her…holding the coats.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">So there I stood, in the foyer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a choice to make. I could muster up some faux-party-confidence and begin to mingle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could attempt to blend in with the décor, sip a drink and hope that a party guest would happen by and engage me in a conversation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could plant myself near the buffet table and force people to speak with me, or at least say “excuse me,” if they want to get close to the food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or I could attach myself to Margaret, the hostess, who is, required by the law-of-hosting and etiquette to talk to me, or introduce me into another conversation.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">While making my decision, a severe looking woman dressed in all black and who looked like she just stepped away from the Chanel make-up counter, walked up to me and introduced herself as Victoria, “Don’t call me Vicky,” she commanded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“My name is Victoria.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Whatever you say, Vicky,</i> I thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Victoria was obviously killing time with me until someone more stylish was free for conversation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She sipped her martini as she looked past me and lied to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, lied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could tell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I had had a calculator with me and had added up all of things that she said she had accomplished, Victoria would have to be about two hundred and seventy years old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Obviously, Victoria was not privy to the two basic rules of lying to someone at a cocktail party. First, if you choose to lie, make sure there is a recovery, if challenged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Really, Victoria, tell me more about water skiing on the Dead Sea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought it was a sacred place and that speedboats were not allowed there. From whom did you get a permit?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Second, lie to the party-drunk or to someone who is not really listening, who will, most likely, not remember anything about the conversation.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Without so much as a word, a ‘good-bye,” a “piss-off” or a nod Victoria sashayed away from me toward a group of porcelain faced, skinny people who seemed to be posing. They weren’t moving. They just might have worked part time as department store window mannequins. <o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">After a minute or so, I found and joined a small group of people who were politely listening to a man named Neil as he droned on about his “fabulous” career, his incredible office, his importance, and his plans for advancement “in the firm.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one in the circle seemed interested in what he was saying, but they didn’t want to appear rude and walk away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So we all stood there, helplessly and listened. He was so boring that he should have been forced to wear a warning label.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Caution: Use of his man may cause drowsiness</i>.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent2" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">My eyes began to water when I strained to keep my mouth closed while stifling a yawn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was tempted to grab Neil by the shoulders, shake him and holler, “No one in this room finds anything at all fascinating about you or your work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unless you could promise someone a high paying position, that requires minimal work and travel to exotic destinations along with an unlimited expense account, we simply don’t want to hear about it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But instead, I stood quietly, with the rest of the group, until he finished his verbal resume.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; text-indent: 0.5in;">A few minutes later, Margaret motioned me over and asked me if I was enjoying myself.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; text-indent: 0.5in;">I started to lie. “Oh yes …” <o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; text-indent: 0.5in;">She interrupted, “I want you to meet someone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come with me.” She motioned with her finger for me to follow her.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent2" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">She then introduced me to a man named Michael.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was also alone. He was handsome, intelligent and interesting … and spoken for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>About ten minutes into our conversation he announced, “I have a girlfriend who is out-of-state.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But you and I could get together for coffee, or something.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then he added, “Fortunately, I don’t find you attractive so I don’t have to worry about getting myself into trouble.”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What?</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fortunately, he doesn’t find me attractive …</i> Was that supposed to be a compliment?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gee,</i> I thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A girl can’t hear that too many times.</i><o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">When I went outside for a breath of fresh air, I met Phil.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He seemed like a “regular guy.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We spoke for a few moments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He asked me if I was dating anyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told him that I wasn’t and asked about his situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told me that he was single.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">He started, “My last girlfriend was a model … ”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I stopped him right there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Tell me, Phil,” I asked, “Why is it that every man I meet used to date a model?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How many models could be out there?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could never understand why a man would tell a woman about how beautiful his past girlfriends were. Although men may find this information to be fascinating and impressive, women can live a lifetime without hearing it.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I wandered into the kitchen to catch my breath and plan my escape. I looked at my watch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Damn, it was too early to leave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The caterers looked at me with a knowing-look that said, “Sit down, and have a cup of coffee.”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As I sat there in the kitchen, a few other party-goers drifted in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of the sat down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Others leaned against the counters, had some coffee, and picked at the desert trays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before I knew it, the entire party had moved into the kitchen area.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Over all, it had been a lovely party.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The food was delicious and guest were very nice but I was ready to leave.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Michael waved over the crowd toward Margaret and announced, “Well, I have to be on my way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to catch a plane in the morning.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">That was my opportunity, “Michael, would you mind walking me to my car?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My question was two-fold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It not only gave Margaret the illusion that Michael and I had hit-it-off, it also was my chance to cut out of the party. <o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5319557066632468991.post-32113739709408583252012-02-24T14:21:00.000-08:002012-02-24T14:21:29.910-08:00Lunch With A Demon by Randi Sherman<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Lunch with a Demon<o:p></o:p></b></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">A simple lunch with a friend can turn into the emotional roller coaster to hell for the victim of PMS demon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The demon has a mind of its own and will do everything possible to have itself heard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The victim is forced to keep the demon at bay while sorting through her erratic premenstrual thoughts and selecting the appropriate, socially acceptable responses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She must also fight the desire to unbutton her skirt or kick off her shoes because of the pain due to premenstrual swelling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All, while staving off an impromptu crying jag and trying to appear sane.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I looked at my watch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jonathan was fifteen minutes late. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">If he is not here in five minute, I’m leaving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The hell with him!</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My PMS mind was racing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He hates me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s doing this on purpose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He does not have respect for my time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He obviously doesn’t think that I am important enough for him to show up on time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he gets here, I’m going to give him a piece of my mind. <o:p></o:p></i></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Just as my blood pressure had hit an all time high, Jonathan walked in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Hi.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m sorry that I’m late. I stopped to buy these flowers for you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He handed the bouquet to me and kissed me on the cheek.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">My rage disappeared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Oh, are you late?” I melted. “I hadn’t noticed.”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">He motioned to the hostess and indicated that there were two for lunch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She grabbed some menus and asked us to follow her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we reached our table she smiled at Jonathan and said, “Here we go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is this okay?”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I thought<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">, What the hell are you looking at!</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I said, “This is fine.”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">When we sat down, Jonathan took my hand and gazed at me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You look pretty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve missed you.”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You’re smothering me!</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I’ve missed you, too.” I put my hand over his.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">He smiled and asked, “How is your day going?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you been doing anything interesting?”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What the hell do you mean by that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t placate me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re not the only person who has something interesting to say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m very interesting.</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Oh, my day?” I said, “It’s fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Same ole’, same ole’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing’s new.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How about with you?”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Jonathan told me about a recent episode he had with his ex-wife and the expenses of maintaining the two households.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I was hardly listening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The PMS demons were annoyed by the conversation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Me, me, me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re so self-absorbed. No wonder she divorced you. </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I forced a smile, “I’m sure that things will get better for you. You just have to remain positive.”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">He looked at the menu, “Are you going to getting the Salad Nicoise?”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What in the hell do you mean by that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is this your subtle way of telling me I’m fat?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText2" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">He continued, “I hear it’s great here and I know how much you like it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think that I will have it as well.”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Nice try, Jonathan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one is going to tell me what to do</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">or what I should eat</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I opened the menu.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was too much to choose from.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was in no condition to make a decision.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I’ll have the same.”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">He noticed that I was uncharacteristically quiet and asked me, “Are you all right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is there anything wrong?’<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">My hormones were raging and my eyes welled up with tears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It’s about time you noticed</i>. “Nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m fine.” I sucked in my breath and tried to hold back but I couldn’t help myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started to cry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The more I tried to compose myself, the worse it got.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got the hiccups.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After several glasses of water and five minutes of a relaxation breathing exercise, they subsided, and I apologized. “I’m sorry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m just a little premenstrual.”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">He smiled sweetly and patted my hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Oh, I understand, honey.”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Honey?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t honey me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You don’t understand a damned thing!</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Thanks for understanding.”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">At the next table a woman was trying to calm her child who was pounding his spoon on the table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jonathan turned to look at the commotion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he turned back to me he had a big smile on his face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Children are so wonderful.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He motioned to the toddler, “Isn’t he cute?”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The kid is a brat and the mother should be flogged for bringing him into a restaurant.</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“He’s adorable.” I smiled.<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Jonathan leaned in. “How do you feel about children?”<o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I was panicked.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> Aah! Get me out of here!</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I calmed myself. “They’re wonderful.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I changed to subject.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Is that a new tie?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">It seemed to be a safe subject.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is, unless his ex-wife bought it for him.<o:p></o:p></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13406856218991425699noreply@blogger.com0